There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!
Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?" God answers, "To me, it's about a minute." "God, how much is a million dollars?" "To me, it's a penny." "God, may I have a penny?" "Wait a minute."
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.