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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits your windshield?
A: Its butt.

LEXMIA

A statue of a naked woman and a naked man stand in a park at night. Suddenly from out of nowhere, a magical genie arrives and grants the statues each one wish to be fulfilled. Both the female and male statues agree on 15 minutes as a real man and woman in the bushes behind them to "get things done." The genie gives a knowing grin and grants the wish. The man and woman immediately jump behind the bushes and screaming sounds and laughter can be heard from their activities. 12 minutes later they return to the front of the bush again claiming they are finished. "Well now, that was kinda quick!" the genie says. "You can do it a second time for the remaining 3 minutes if you want," the genie tells them, winking his eye. Both the female and male look at each other and smile. The man says to the woman, "Okay great, but this time you get to hold the pigeon so I can shit on him!"

8AR7

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

Anonymous

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.

mgrector

Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!

Willem Van...

Q. What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!

hello_the_...

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Anonymous

A man walk into a bar and says, "Give me something to drink just no vodka." The bartender asks, "Why? That's your typical drink of choice." The man replies, "Because last night I got drunk and blew Chunks." The bartender says, "Well, it's normal to blow chunks if you drink too much. The man says, "No, Chunks is my dog."

Androgynous

Two caged circus lions break free and corner a clown in his dressing room. One lion says to the other, "Forget it, those things taste funny."

Anonymous

Q: How do you catch a squirrel? A: Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Anonymous

Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A: Because if it had four, it would be chicken sedan.

TheLaughFa...

What did the farmer get when he crossed a centipede with a Turkey? 100 Drumsticks.

Susan7777