Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday!

joke bank - Animal Jokes

Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words.

typical joker

A farmer is walking with a prospective buyer when they see a beautiful pig in the yard, except it has a wooden leg. The buyer asks, "Why the wooden leg?" The farmer replies, "That pig is so smart, I let it drive the kids to school."
"Great, but why the wooden leg?"
"The pig is so smart it has a degree in horticulture and philosophy."
"Amazing! But why the bloody wooden leg?"
"Well when you have a pig that smart you don't eat it all at once!"

Crown Footy

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.

KoolKDog

What do you do with a dog that doesn’t have any legs? You take him for a drag.

Anonymous

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

Anonymous

Why does a squirrel swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry!

LusciousLi...

Q. What's a shark's favorite sandwich?
A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!

hello_the_...

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "If you can make that horse over there laugh, you can get free drinks for the rest of the night." The man walks over, says something to the horse, it laughs, and he walks back over to the bar to collect his free drinks. The next night, the man goes back to the bar and the bartender asks the man if he can make the horse cry. The man walks over, does something to the horse, and it starts to cry. The bartender asks, "How did you make it cry?" The man replies, "Well, to make the horse laugh last night I told it I had a bigger dick and to make it cry tonight I showed it."

Anonymous

Two nuns from Ireland come to tour New York City. Before they come, they hear that Americans eat dogs, so they both agree to try it when they arrive. As they're walking around New York, they hear, "Hot Dogs! Get your hot dogs!" They rush over to get one! As the first nun opens hers, her face turns white and she gasps, "What part did you get?!"

mway0030

Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it?
A: He named his horse Friday.

Anonymous

Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.

Rexx

An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn't wearing his watch. A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The American approaches the Mexican and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what time is?" The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, "4:30." The American asks, "How do you know that?" The Mexican replies, "Well you get a handful of the donkeys balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street."

Gabe Neaveill