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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Just had a dangerous mole removed from the end of my penis. Definitely won't be shagging one of those again.

Robin Bowen

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."


Q. What do you call a paralyzed goat?

A. Billy Idle


Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."


A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."


Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean beef.


Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.


What do you call a dog with no legs? It does not matter, it's not going to come


What did Santa call his reindeer that couldn't fly? Dinner.


What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Ell-if-I-no (Hell if I know).


A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”


Q: How do birds fly?
A: They just wing it!

Willem Van...