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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: Why shouldn't you have a gay monkey and a gay squirrel in the same tree?
A: Because the monkey will go bananas over the squirrel's nuts.

TheLaughFa...

Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyes
A: You never see a rabbit wears glasses.

Anonymous

Q: Where do bees go to the toilet?
A: The BP station.

Anonymous

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and no hind legs?
A: Sparky.

Anonymous

Just had a dangerous mole removed from the end of my penis. Definitely won't be shagging one of those again.

Robin Bowen

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A: Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

iwe

Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.

mgrector

Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
A: "Dam."

ink123

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

TheLaughFa...

Q. What do you call a paralyzed goat?

A. Billy Idle

RainMan500

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean beef.

Anonymous

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

TheLaughFa...