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joke bank - Animal Jokes

A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."

nimabeni

Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyes
A: You never see a rabbit wears glasses.

Anonymous

Q: What's a bunny's favorite restaurant? A: IHOP.

michael

Q: What do bees comb their hair with?
A: A honey comb!

Anonymous

Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A: Because if it had four, it would be chicken sedan.

TheLaughFa...

What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"

tigerfire

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a vacuum?
A: A cocksucker.

Brett rose...

Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
A: Because they have their own scales.

Rexx

An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn't wearing his watch. A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The American approaches the Mexican and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what time is?" The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, "4:30." The American asks, "How do you know that?" The Mexican replies, "Well you get a handful of the donkeys balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street."

Gabe Neaveill

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

TheLaughFa...

What is the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so they must be Gods. Cats think, "Humans are benevolent, they feed me and take care of me, so I must be God."

abilioperez

What do you do with a dog that doesn’t have any legs? You take him for a drag.

Anonymous