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joke bank - Animal Jokes

What is green and red and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

Anonymous

Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

Aayush Raman

Where do you take a sick horse? To the horse-pital!!!

jilliebeans

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stamp out fire.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks.

Anonymous

This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks, one in each hand, and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a few drinks and chats with the bartender. The bartender is experienced, and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. They chat for about 30 minutes before the guy with the ducks has to go to the restroom. The ducks are left on the bar. The bartender is alone with the ducks. There is an awkward silence. The bartender decides to try to make some conversation. "What's your name?" He says to the first duck. "Huey" replies the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh. That's nice," says the Bartender. Then he says to the second duck "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "my name is Puddles, and don't ask about my day."

dinkopal

Why are worms great at poker? They have five hearts.

jack23miersch

How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end smiles.

Rubym8

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe out of that thing

CLAYBALLTR...

A crab walks into a bar and asks for something to drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, we do not serve food."

weston

Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher then the average house due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can't jump?

JJ le roiche

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the zoo, elephants began throwing peanuts at her.

LaughFactory

There are 2 cats. The one two three cat and the un deux trois cat. They had a race across the English Channel. Which cat won? The one two three cat because the un deux trois cat cinq.

Anonymous