joke bank - Animal Jokes

What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroganoff!


Fed up with failure in preventing coyotes from killing his sheep, a rancher brought out his rifle to eliminate the pack. Suddenly, a federal bureaucrat rushed up and breathlessly screamed, "Wait, there's no need to do that. We've developed a new drug that renders them impotent." "I don't know what y`all do in Washington," drawled the rancher taking aim again, "but out here the coyotes eat the sheep."


A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"


How do you make a horse laugh? Tell him your schlong is bigger than his. How do you make a horse cry? Show him.


Why, when the birds fly in the shape of a V, one line is shorter than the other? Because one line has more birds in it, duh.


One night a Deer, a Skunk and a Duck went out for dinner at a restaurant. When it came time to pay, the Skunk didn't have a scent, the Deer didn't have a buck, so they put it on the Duck's bill.


Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the udder side.


A giraffe walks into a bar, looks around, and says, "Well guys, I guess the highballs are on me!"

Mark My Words

Q: Why can't an emu fly? A: It never books a flight


Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.


How do you make an elephant float? You put two scoops of elephant in a cup and add soda.


What do you call a ham you really want? Pork-you-pine!