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joke bank - Animal Jokes

Q: Why can't an emu fly? A: It never books a flight

Anonymous

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Anonymous

Fed up with failure in preventing coyotes from killing his sheep, a rancher brought out his rifle to eliminate the pack. Suddenly, a federal bureaucrat rushed up and breathlessly screamed, "Wait, there's no need to do that. We've developed a new drug that renders them impotent." "I don't know what y`all do in Washington," drawled the rancher taking aim again, "but out here the coyotes eat the sheep."

thebogieguy

What do you call a ham you really want? Pork-you-pine!

frankczajka

How do you make a horse laugh? Tell him your schlong is bigger than his. How do you make a horse cry? Show him.

vlewisbehr

What do you call a blender full of laboratory monkeys? Rhesus pieces.

durhamc

A man went to a restaurant, sat down, and there was a frog at the table. He asked him what he had to eat, and the frog replied, "Riblets."

mmartin

What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Thoughtusawus.

tsfairley

A horse goes into an Irish Pub and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

MonyHF

What happend when the duck fell upside-down? He quacked up!

Anonymous

Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. To get to the udder side.

Anonymous

What does a Seiko watch and an elephant have in common? They both come in quarts!

lcoletto