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joke bank - Animal Jokes

What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Thoughtusawus.


Why, when the birds fly in the shape of a V, one line is shorter than the other? Because one line has more birds in it, duh.


If I had a rooster and you had a donkey, and my rooster got his foot stuck in your donkeys butt, what would you have? Two feet of my c*ck in your ass.


What do you call a blender full of laboratory monkeys? Rhesus pieces.


A giraffe walks into a bar, looks around, and says, "Well guys, I guess the highballs are on me!"

Mark My Words

What is out of bounds? An exhausted kangaroo.


Q: Why can't an emu fly? A: It never books a flight


Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.


Fed up with failure in preventing coyotes from killing his sheep, a rancher brought out his rifle to eliminate the pack. Suddenly, a federal bureaucrat rushed up and breathlessly screamed, "Wait, there's no need to do that. We've developed a new drug that renders them impotent." "I don't know what y`all do in Washington," drawled the rancher taking aim again, "but out here the coyotes eat the sheep."


What do you call a ham you really want? Pork-you-pine!


A man went to a restaurant, sat down, and there was a frog at the table. He asked him what he had to eat, and the frog replied, "Riblets."


A horse goes into an Irish Pub and the bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"