DANE COOK IS BACK FOR ALL STAR COMEDY ON DEC. 16TH! GET YOUR TICKETS NOW WATCH YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIANS FROM THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY IN RAINBOW POP ON DEC. 19TH GET YOUR TICKETS NOW TO SEE JAMIE KENNEDY LIVE ON DEC. 21ST @COMEDY TREND!

joke bank - Blonde Jokes

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?” Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. “You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why can't blondes tie shoes?
A: They just can't grasp the concept that the long thing goes around the hole, not into it.

Mat Mclare

Q: Why did the blonde put water on her computer?
A: To wash the Windows.

henos

A brunette, redhead, and blonde are stranded on the edge of a cliff. An angel appears and instructs them to jump off the cliff and say out loud what they would like to land on safely. The brunette goes first. She jumps and says, "Pillows!" She lands on a pile of pillows at the bottom. The redhead goes next. She jumps and says "Feathers!" She lands on a mass of feathers below. The blonde walks up to the edge, but trips on a rock, yelling, "Shit!" as she falls off.

Anonymous

Two blondes walk beside each other down the street. One of them sees a broken piece of mirror on the ground, grabs it, looks at it and says, "This girl looks so familiar, but I can't remember where I know her from." The other girl grabs it from her hand, takes a look at it, and says, "It's me you idiot!"

alice10

Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

ritadelarosa

Redhead: "You ever smelled moth balls?"
Blonde: "Yes, I think they smell good."
Redhead: "Wow, I can't believe you got your nose between those tiny legs."

Anonymous

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."

A Brunette

A blond asked his friend, "Why does my sister have two brothers and I only have one???"

SILENCE

A blonde, brunette and redhead were smoking cigarettes one afternoon. The blonde had Camels, redhead had Marlboros, and the brunette had Kools. It began to pour down raining, so the redhead and brunette both pull out condoms and put them on their cigarettes. The blonde asks, "What are you doing?" and they reply, "We're saving it for later." Impressed, and in a hurry, the blonde goes to the nearest store and asks for a condom. The clerk says "What size: small, medium, or large?" She answers, "I don't know, one to fit a camel?"

Tom K.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde used a computer?
A: There's Wite-Out all over the screen.

Paul Aungpe

A blonde decides to try horseback rising. On her first outing, the bouncing horse causes her to lose control. As she's thrown from the horse, her foot catches in the stirrup, so she lands head first. Just as she loses consciousness, the carnie stops the carousel.

Chevy Powers