Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?
A: The pizza dosen't scream when it's put into an oven.
What do elephants use for tampons? Sheep.
How do you know if a guy has a high sperm count? She has to chew before she swallows.
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
This brother was banging his sister, and he says, "You f*ck like Mom," and she laughs. He says, "What?" She says, "That's what Dad said."