Have you heard? Michael Jackson’s last wish was that his body be turned into Legos. So little kids can play with him. It turns out this wish hasn’t been difficult to implement, as his body was already 99% plastic.
Why is it that skinny men like fat women? Because they need warmth in winter and shade in summer.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile; that's a big word for a nine year old.
Q: Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
A: Because he's black.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.