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A man recently had his arm amputated and decided to kill himself by jumping off a building. When he was ready to jump, he saw a man with both arms amputated dancing around. He decided to find out why he was so happy. The man told him, “I’m not dancing. My ass is itching and I can’t scratch it!”


Q: What do KFC and pussy have in common?
A: Both are finger lickin' good and after you are done eating you have a box to put the bone in.

Mark My Words

Hitler and his associates are having a discussion. Hitler says, "Kill 6 million Jews and a cat." One of his associates replies, "Mein Fuhrer, why must we kill a cat?" Hitler then exclaims, "See, no one cares about the Jews."


Red Riding Hood was a bad bitch. She looked so f*cking good, damn! When she got to grandmas, the wolf jumped out and said, "Damn bitch, Imma f*ck the sh*t outta you." Red pulled a glock out her basket and said, "Nah motherf*cker, you're gonna eat me like the story said."


What do nine out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.