CHRIS D'ELIA IS BACK ON THE LUCK OF THE IRISH SHOW ON FEB. 23RD! LAUGH ALL NIGHT WITH SOCAL'S BEST COMICS ON ALL-STAR COMEDY EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD! YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD DROP BY ON THE SET DANE COOK IS BACK THIS TUESDAY (FEB 20) AND SATURDAY (FEB 24) TO MAKE YOU LAUGH ALL NIGHT! DON'T MISS THIS SO GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: What is tall when it is young and short when it is old?
A: A candle.

Anonymous

A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”

TheLaughFa...

A disciple went to his master and said, "I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end." His master said, "Here, have some chewing gum."

Anonymous

Q: What do you say to a lollipop when you throw it away?
A: "So long sucker!"

Anonymous

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: "A miner be flat" (A minor B-flat).

Dylan and ...

A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.

Brotato

Q: What is tall when it's young and short when it's old?
A: A candle.

Anonymous

Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many Cheetahs!

Anonymous

Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

looloo

Q: Why do seagles fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagles!

Anonymous

Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

A: No ballroom.

TheLaughFa...

Q: What do you get with a fist and a long piece of wire?
A: A horrible punchline.

Anonymous