DOORS OPEN AT 7PM for 7:30/7:45 shows - DOORS OPEN AT 9PM for 9:30/9:45 shows

joke bank - Clean Jokes

Q: What says "Eoo?"
A: A cow with no lips.

joke bank

Q. What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns?

A. Go for the juggler.

Anonymous

Two guys are driving down 5th Avenue in Manhattan when they come up to a red light. The guy driving slams the gas pedal and they go zooming past the red light. His friend looks at him and says, "Hey, you just went through a red light." The guy driving says, "Don't worry about it. My brother does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a second red light. The guy driving slams on the gas pedal and zooms past another red light. His friend is pretty mad, looks at him and says, "Hey man, you just went through another red light. What the heck are you doing?" The guy driving tells his friend, "Don't worry about it. My brother does this all the time." They come to a third red light and the guy driving slams on the gas, zooming past the red light. His friend starts screaming at him, "What the heck? You're going to get us killed! Pull over and let me out." The guy driving screams back at him, "I'm telling you: don't worry about it. My brother, he does it all the time." So they keep driving and they come to a green light. The guy driving slams on the brakes. His friend looks at him and says, "Are you out of your mind? What the heck is wrong with you? You go flying past three red lights, almost getting us killed, and then you slam on the brakes when you have a green light?" The guy driving looks at his friend and says, "I had to stop; my brother might have been coming."

Dave

Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

looloo

Q: What is tall when it is young and short when it is old?
A: A candle.

Anonymous

An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel. Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan." When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in India."

Samga

A disciple went to his master and said, "I have served you faithfully for ten years. Now I have a wish: give me something to eat which will never end." His master said, "Here, have some chewing gum."

Anonymous

Q: What do you say to a lollipop when you throw it away?
A: "So long sucker!"

Anonymous

Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: "A miner be flat" (A minor B-flat).

Dylan and ...

A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.

Brotato

Man- What would you do if I won the lottery?
Woman- Take half and leave!
Man- Well, I won 20 bucks, here's 10, now get out!

Anonymous

Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

Too many Cheetahs!

Anonymous