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joke bank - Clean Jokes

Santa, standing on a railway platform, suddenly runs and stands on the tracks.
Banta: "Santa, move out of the way! The train is arriving!"
Santa: "Haven't you heard the announcement that the train is arriving on the platform?"

Ponyo

They say you can never judge a book by its cover. But it’s the only way to
judge a tribute band.

Anonymous

20 years I've been eating outta cereal boxes, and you gotta give it to em'. They stayed firm and refused to move with the times. I mean they know the resealable ziplock bag exists, but they've never backed down. No matter how many times the fold-in top rips or the plastic bag tears on the wrong edge, they say "No innovation, we say no!"

Mowgali

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

9

A woman walks into a cafe with a stomach ache.After a while she realizes she needs to relieve herself, knowing her farts are loud, she decides to fart simultaneously with the cafe music. Every time the music gets really loud she let out a long fart. She saw that everyone in the cafe was staring at her and later realized that she was wearing headsets the whole time...

cycy

Simba was moving too slowly, so I told him to Mufasa!

Anonymous

A prisoner was freed from prison and yelled: I'm free, I'm free at last!" and a kid replied "So what? I'm four"

David Wils...

Q:what did one penny say to the other penny?
A:lets get together and make some cents!

Anonymous

Hey girl, come feel my sweater. Wanna know what its made of? Boyfriend material.


(Troll Face)

Anonymous

Q:What Do Tree's Drink?

A:Root beer

Anonymous

Boy: what's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a pot of glue?
Girl: I don't know
Boy: you can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna
Girl: what about the pot of glue?
Boy: I knew you'd get stuck there!

Redpony ??...

Place:mental hospital
Doctor:what is wrong with you?
Patient:I wrote a 500 page book
Doctor:what did you write about?
Patient:I wrote a king started going to the jungle with his horse and in the last page he arrived at the jungle
Doctor:what did you write in the other 498 page
Patient:tigdik tigdik tigdik
Tigdik tigdik and so on the other 493 pages
Doctor:you idiot.who will read it
Patient:I will put it on watazapp and some idiot will read it

Naveed