What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it's Halloween.
Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall St Journal? He heard it had great circulation...
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!