Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall St Journal? He heard it had great circulation...
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: To know which witch is which!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.