Jokes
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." - avre1
In class, Jose is asked to use the word "Cherokee" in a sentence. He pauses and says, "I lost my house key and now I have to Cherokee with my sister." - guicho1972
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!" - ScillaB03
A boy asked his dad, "What's the difference between a woman and a slave?" His father replies, "I don't know, what?" His son says, "No, I was asking a question." - cayres01
A very good magician has hypnotised an entire audience. He has them under his complete control and they are willing do whatever he tells them to do. Unfortunately, at the vital moment, he trips over the microphone cord, lands on his ass and says, "Shit!" - luczywek2000
A blonde gets lost and calls for directions. The operator asks which cross streets she's at. The blonde replies, "I'm on the corner of 'Walk' and 'Do Not Walk.' " - moneekers
A guy was at a bar and needed to fart. He decided the music was so loud that he just went for it and timed his farts to the beat of the music. After he relieved himself he looked up to see everyone staring at him. Than he realized that he was listening to his iPod. - noely
A fat man goes into a fast food resturant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a min or two for his food. Finally his food is ready. The cashier hands the food to the fat guy and tells him, "Sorry about your weight." - jayandheather
A blonde goes to the doctor's and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what's wrong. She replies, "I know who the dad is for one of them but I don't know who the dad is for the other one!" - babygurl89
A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!" - jahangir1352
A girl says, "I'm having heart surgery today." The boy says, "I know." The girl says, "I love you!" The boy says, "I love you more, much much more!" After the surgery, when the girl woke up, only her father was next to her bed. The girl says, "Where is he?" The father responded, "You don't know who gave you the heart?" The girl says, "What???" and starts crying. The father says, "I'm just kidding, he went to the bathroom." - mred44edgar