Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said, "two to four years." - atiyatia

A blonde walks into an electronics store to buy a television. She finds a salesman and tells him, “I want to buy this television," as she points. The man tells her, “Sorry Miss, we don’t sell televisions to blondes." The girl walks out and walks back inside five minutes later with a brunette wig. She finds another salesman and tells him, “Sir, I want to buy this television,” as she points. The man tells her, “Sorry Miss, but we don’t sell televisions to blondes." She leaves and comes back once again, but this time with a red wig on. She finds yet another salesman and tells him, “Sir, I would like to buy this television,” as she points. The man also tells her, “Sorry Miss, we don’t sell televisions to blondes." Now, the girl is really mad and asks the man, “How the hell do you know that I’m a blonde?!” The man points and replies, “Miss, this is not a television, it’s a microwave." - joeboo

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence. - yszi

A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?" - flypelican

There are two blondes, one on each side of a river. One says, "How'd you get on the other side?" The other one says, "You're on the other side!" - trevort

I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. - bgifford12

This blonde calls me and says, "What's your phone number? I cant find it!" - Lee23

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn. - clawrencem

How do you make a blonde forget something? You blow in her ear. - celiiiine

A man walks by a blonde, who is holding a pig. The man asks, "Where did you get her?" The pig answered, "I won her at the fair." - jokestahh

Four blondes are ordering a few rounds of drinks. Each time they get up, they toast and say, "14 weeks," then they down their drinks. The bartender finally asks the blondes, "What's the deal?" One blonde says, "Well, we bought a boxed puzzle. It said 'two to six years,' and we did it in 14 weeks!" - uclaesq

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!" - laurieleebrown

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless." With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, "Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!" As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, "Yes! Yes! I won! I won!" She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs. The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll?" The other answers, "I don’t know, I thought you were watching." - futbollero1

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman type, and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." - meccia25

What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? "Omg, donut seeds!" - love4sheryl