joke bank - Insult Jokes

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

Watching you two makes me feel like I'm watching a pair of retards with buckets on their heads, running into the wall, thinking it's each other.

How do you make your wife do anything for you?

Answer: Take away her Credit Card

I am truly sickened by the fact that due to some grand joke on someone else's part, I am forced to have to share oxygen with you.

I don't think you are a fool. But then what's my opinion against thousands of others?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?

Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.

Your house is so small you have to eat a large pizza outside.

They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.

A man went to the All Stars game with two front row seat tickets. He sat down and then another man asked him if the other chair was taken. The man said " no, it was supposed to be for my wife." The other man said " well where is she? And he said "she died two days ago" from a stroke. The other man said "well thats unfortunate, I'm so sorry for you. But should'nt you give this seat to another family members?" And the man said, "no they're all at the funeral"

If brains were gasoline, you'd have enough to get a piss ant's go-kart half way around a Cheerio.