Chocolate Sundaes is live this Sunday! Catch Tim Allen monthly in Hollywood on Thursday, October 6th! Come see Adam Ray, Andrew Santino, Chris Redd, Jordan Rock, and more in Hollywood this week. Check the Clubs & Tickets page for more.

joke bank - Insult Jokes

Last time I saw a belly like that, I was given a stocking full of presents.

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I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!

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I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

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You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.

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He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

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He is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

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Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

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At first I thought you had the IQ of an ice scraper, but then it occured to me that an ice scraper has two things you don't, direction and purpose.

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A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

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I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

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You are such a smart ass I bet you could sit on a carton of ice cream and tell what flavor it is.

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If we took the collective stupidity of every low-life imbecile known since the evolution of man, it might be close to the complete lack of brain function you possess.

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