joke bank - Insult Jokes

You are a pathetic scumbag. Your parents were scum and you're doing a most glorious job of following the tradition.

I was about to engage in some serious debate about what you just stated, but then I remembered that I dont give a damn.

You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.

Act your age, not your shoe size.

Obama, Putin and Tony were going for a walk when a giant came up to them.
He told them to bring a human killing machine from their country so as to not die from his wrath. First came Tony with a small pistol, Giant told him to put it up his ass.
then came Putin with AK-47, Giant told him to do the same, Surprisingly Putin was crying and laughing at the same time. The giant asked him why he was crying he said because of the pain, then he asked why he was laughing he then said that Obama was bringing a tank

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?

When they were handing out brains, you thought they said trains and asked for a slow one.

Don't let your mind wander; it's too little to be let out alone.

His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

I can't seem to remember your name, and please don't help me!

I'd slap you senseless, but I can't spare three seconds!