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joke bank - Miscellaneous Jokes

If a midget comes up to you and says your hair smells good, is that considered sexual harassment?

Anonymous

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme.
Some poems don't.

KillKills

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse said, "No change yet."

TheLaughFa...

Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."

TheLaughFa...

A vampire walks into a bar, sits down, and says to the bartender, "A cup of boiling water, please." The bartender, confused and scared, walks up with the water and says, "I thought vampires drank blood..." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "Yes, it's tea time."

darren payne

When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.

Jw3612e

Q: Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?
A: Because it was rated Rrrrr.

Jayden

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from eating too much pi.

TheLaughFa...

Google will tell you that the number 1 sign of alcoholism is drinking alone. I feel that the number 1 sign of alcoholism is having to Google "number 1 sign of alcoholism."

Dan Frigol...

Three doctors are out geese-hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. "I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese." Some more geese fly by & the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. "I'll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first." Some more geese fly over. The trauma doc raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. "What were those things, anyway?" he asks.

Jean Bustos

Q: Why should you never trust a toilet?
A: Because it's full of shit.

Michael le...

I think I killed my best friend. He asked me what was the best thing for sunburn and I told him, "Sit in the sun for eight hours."

Rudy Jones