Mexico doesn't win Olympic medals because all the best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.
Why do Italians wear gold chains? So they know where to stop shaving!
How do Germans tie their shoes? With little knot-sies!
Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotchman and Paddy Irishman come across a magic slide. The slide operator tells them when they slide down, whatever they shout out for is what they will land in at the bottom. Paddy Englishman goes first and yells "Gold!" and lands in gold. Paddy Scotsman goes next and screams "Silver!" so he lands in silver. Paddy Irishman looks down the slide and, being afraid of heights, closes his eyes and jumps, crying out "OH SH*T!"
Have you heard the Mexican weather forecast? Chili today and hot tamale.