What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper? About two weeks.
A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"
Why are proctologists so gloomy? They always have the end in sight.
Do you know what happens if you piss of a pilot? He takes off.
What do you call an honest businessman? Asif.