What can a goose do that a duck can't, but a lawyer should? Shove its bill up its ass!
Q: What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a 1,000 letters?
A: Post office.
What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper? About two weeks.
What do you call a bench full of white people? The NBA!
What do lawyers use as contraceptives? Their personalities.