Why are proctologists so gloomy? They always have the end in sight.
A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"
What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper? About two weeks.
If an accountant's spouse cannot sleep, what is the best cure? Ask the accountant to talk about their work.
They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but lawyers can find you anywhere.