If an accountant's spouse cannot sleep, what is the best cure? Ask the accountant to talk about their work.
A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"
Why are proctologists so gloomy? They always have the end in sight.
Do you know what happens if you piss of a pilot? He takes off.
How can you tell when an engineer is an extrovert. He stares at YOUR shoes while he talks to you.