If an accountant's spouse cannot sleep, what is the best cure? Ask the accountant to talk about their work.
Why are proctologists so gloomy? They always have the end in sight.
A dentist told a mother, "I'm sorry madam, but I'll have to charge you a $100 for pulling your boy's tooth." The mother exclaimed, "A $100! You said it was only $20!" "Yes," replied the dentist, "but he yelled so loudly that he scared four other patients out of the office!"
How can you tell when an engineer is an extrovert. He stares at YOUR shoes while he talks to you.
We've been reading in the papers lately about terrible cruelty someone is causing to our winged friends by the shore, as many Pelicans have been found with their beaks cut off. Police suspect a local bill collector is behind it all.