How does Osama Bin Laden practice safe sex? He marks the camels that kick.
A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything except office.
Q: What do you get when you combine a sex addict with a lesbian?
A: Bill and Hillary.
I went into a Liberal clothing store today to purchase some pants. When I started trying on a few pairs, I noticed that all the pockets except one were visibly removed. I stopped a clerk and ask him if anyone complained. He said "No, Liberals always want a hand out." I asked what happened to the other pockets. "They don't go to waste: Conservatives use them to line theirs."
Rush Limbaugh wanted to buy an NFL team. His spectacle for him to see black people hit each other while the white quarterback is being protected. Reminds him of the America he loves.