Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
What did God say when he made the first black man? "Damn, I burnt one."
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."