Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile. The crocodile tells him, "Please let me go! I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man says, "Okay, I wish my penis could touch the ground." The crocodile then bites his legs off.