A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Why are asprins white? Because they work!
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."