I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: "Put it on my bill."