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joke bank - Popular Jokes

For all the guys who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember that's where the knives are kept.

Anonymous

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?"
Son: "I don't have it."
Dad: "Why?"
Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

Anonymous

Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?"
Son: "I don't have it."
Dad: "Why?"
Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."

Anonymous

A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

flypelican

A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"

giggili

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000." The idiot says, "Okay." The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?" The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?" The idiot hands over $5.

Anonymous

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Anonymous

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

SOME DUDE

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

SOME DUDE

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

SOME DUDE

Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

SOME DUDE

Your momma is so hairy when she opens her legs it says "Welcome to Busch Gardens."

bayron