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joke bank - Popular Jokes

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

brinks09

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.

Brock

Q: Why do black people smell? A: So blind people can hate them too.

Anonymous

Yo mamma so fat when she died she broke the stairway to heaven .

jon_96

Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"
Student: "My father's check book!"

Anonymous

Teacher: "Which book has helped you the most in your life?"
Student: "My father's check book!"

Anonymous

A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

davey21

How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

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