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joke bank - Popular Jokes

Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.

Wenz

Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
A: They planet.

Wenz

A boy asks his dad, “What’s the difference between potential and realistic?” The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer. The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”

davey21

Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would've seen it.....

Jeep96

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Anonymous

I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Anonymous

Yo momma is so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale.

fghjkl

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."

Andrew

Why did the blonde put her iPad in a blender? Because she wanted to make apple juice.

Anonymous

Yo mamma so stupid she put two M&M's in her ear and said she was listening to Eminem.

lmfaoobytch

Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

TheLaughFa...

Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

TheLaughFa...