Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Q: Did you hear abut the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.