Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Do not be racist , be like Mario. He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!