Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
Q: How do Chinese people name their babies?
A: They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make.