Why are asprins white? Because they work!
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."