A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.