Q: What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
A: "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.