A husband and wife are moving out of their house and are starting to box everything up. The husband finds a box under the bed, pulls it out, and looks inside, where he finds two eggs and about $8,000. He approaches the wife and asks, "What are the eggs for?" She replies, "Every time I cheat on you, I put an egg in the box." He says, "That's alright, you've only cheated on me twice. What's the money for?" The wife replies, "Every time I get a dozen, I sell them!"
Q: Why are most hurricanes named after women?
A: Because when they come they are wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and your car.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."