There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: She can't find the eleven.