Yo Momma's so fat when I told her to touch her toes she said, "What are those"?
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"
Yo momma is so stupid she brought a spoon to the super bowl.
A blonde girl was talking to her redhead friend about her boyfriend's dandruff problem. The redhead says, "Why don't you give him Head and Shoulders?" The blonde replies, "How do you give shoulders?"
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.