Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
Late one night, a preacher was driving on a country road and had a wreck. A farmer stopped and said, "Sir, are you okay?" The preacher said, "Yes, I had the Lord riding with me." The farmer said, "Well, you better let him ride with me, because you're gonna kill him."
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.