Q: What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind as it hits your windshield?
A: Its butt.
A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place?" "Yeah!" "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?" Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!" The younger brother says, "Stop making sandwiches! You're getting mayo all over my bed!"
Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.