Did you hear about the Iranian who locked himself out of his car? It took three hours to get his family out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a Mexican and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
A Scotsman was out having a very good time on Saturday night sampling the local product and on the way home he passed out along the lane. Later in the night a wind came blowing by and blew his kilt up to his waist. Well, we all know what a real Scotsman wears under his kilt. Early Sunday morning the two town spinsters came by and saw him laying there. "Prudence have you ever seen such a sight!" one exclaimed. "No I haven't Purity. He deserves some kind of punishment." As she searched her bag, she found something and said, "Here this should do it." And she tied a ribbon around his member. "Serves him right," they huffed and continued on to church. Later the Scotsman awoke and looked down at his member and saw the bright blue ribbon tied around it and said, "Aye Laddie, I dunna know where ye been, but ye won ferst prize!"
Have you heard about the two gay Irishmen? Mike Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmike.
You know why we don't have Mexican Astronauts? It's because the countdown goes like this, "10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Launch! Lonch!?!? Vamos a comer..."