Q: What is the difference between the words "select" and "choose?"
A: "Select" is when you pick something and "choose" is what Mexicans put on their feet.
What do you call an Asian drive-by? Cappucino (Cap-a-chino)
Why does the Polish Navy have glass-bottomed boats? So they can see the old Polish Navy.
Q: Why are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they can shoot, steal, and run.
What is the sign of inflation? A Volkswagen with 12 Latinos in it.