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joke bank - Relationship Jokes

A man comes home and sees a note on the refrigerator from his wife. She wrote, "This isn't working. I'm at my mother's." The man opens the fridge, the light turns on, and he says to himself, "What the hell? The fridge is working fine!"

Anonymous

Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

naveen

A man found a genie in a magic lamp and was granted three wishes. The genie said, "For every wish you make, your wife gets two." The man asked for a car and the genie gave his wife two. Then the man asked for a house and again his wife got double. The jealous husband said, "For my last wish, beat me half to death."

Funny haha...

Q: Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
A: They’re worth it.

Bookworm

A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn. She put his manhood in a vice, secured it tightly, and removed the handle. Next, she picked up an old carpenter's saw. The banged up cheater was terrified and hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said, "Nope. You are! I'm gonna burn down the barn!"

cecesntraffic

Q: What book do women like the most?
A: Their boyfriends paycheck!

TheLaughFa...

Q: What worse than finding out your ex-wife got cancer? A: Finding out it's curable.

TheLaughFa...

When you are married, nobody asks about your sex life. They know that you don't have one!

at3418

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

LaughFactory

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.

LaughFactory

Boy: "Hey, I like you and I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend."
Girl: "I have a boyfriend."
Boy: "I have math test tomorrow."
Girl: "What does that have to do with anything?"
Boy: "I thought we were listing things we could cheat on."

Anonymous

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

LaughFactory