Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do Not Enter
Our last fight was my fault. My wife asked me,"What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust."
What do marriage and a tornado have in common? In the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end someone loses a house.
The five most important qualities in a woman: one who is independent and helps around the house, one who can make you laugh, one who you can trust, one who is good in bed, and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.
A man is at work one day, when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a conservative guy, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. The man walks up and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.” The co-worker responds sheepishly, “Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring.” The man falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So how long have you been wearing one?” The co-worker responds, “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”