Q: Why did all the hippies go to church on the first day of Lent? A: They heard it was "Hash Wednesday."
Q: Who is the most famous comedian in the Bible? A: Samson, because he brought the house down.
Two old timers were talking after church one day and the one asks the other, "So tell me brother, what did you think of the soul food this morning?" The other replies, "The food was excellent but the service sucked!"
What's the difference between a Jewish wife and a Catholic wife? A Jewish wife has real diamonds, a Catholic wife has real orgasms.
Three religious leaders (a rabbi, a priest, and a minister) were all discussing how they divide up tithing income between themselves and God. The minister said, "I draw a line in the sand, throw the money up in the air, and what lands on the left side of the line goes to the good Lord and what lands on the right side goes to me." Then the priest said, "I draw a circle on the ground, throw the money up in the air, and what lands inside the circle goes to the good Lord and what lands outside goes to me." Then the rabbi said, "You got it all wrong! I throw the money up in the air and what the good Lord catches is his and what lands on the ground is mine."