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joke bank - Religious Jokes

Q: What does Mortal Kombat and a church in Helsinki have in common?
A: Finnish Hymn!

Anonymous

The biggest swindler in the world dies and finds himself before the gates of Heaven and St. Peter, who says, "Come on in man!" Confused, the swindler questions, "But I thought I would be going to Hell for all of the bad things I did." St. Peter replies, "Oh, we don't keep records here, it's too much work!" The swindler goes in, and is once again surprised to see tons of beautiful girls whipping themselves. He asks St. Peter, "Why are they doing that?" St. Peter answers, "Ah, those are all of our virgins. They just found out we don't keep records, too!"

renethuh

Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have sex, too.

juliettaylor

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

vagrant13

Q: Who is the most famous comedian in the Bible? A: Samson, because he brought the house down.

TheLaughFa...

Photons have mass? I didn't know that they were Catholic.

Malik Ore

Two old timers were talking after church one day and the one asks the other, "So tell me brother, what did you think of the soul food this morning?" The other replies, "The food was excellent but the service sucked!"

NOAHLOT2

Q: Did you hear about the short sighted rabbi?
A: He got the sack.

JKLouw

The lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life," but john came fifth and won a toaster.

bobby johnson

Three nuns walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks.

kaleajean

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He goes over to the first priest and says, "Dude, I'm Jesus Christ!" And the priest says, "No son, you're not." So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says, "Man, I'm Jesus Christ!" Then the priest says, "No son, you're not." Finally, the drunk had enough and said, "Here, I'll prove it." He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunk and says, "Jesus Christ, you're back AGAIN?"

Kacie Weggies

Q: What do you call a convent for horny nuns?
A: Our Lady of Perpetual Frustration.

Anonymous