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joke bank - Religious Jokes

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

vagrant13

The biggest swindler in the world dies and finds himself before the gates of Heaven and St. Peter, who says, "Come on in man!" Confused, the swindler questions, "But I thought I would be going to Hell for all of the bad things I did." St. Peter replies, "Oh, we don't keep records here, it's too much work!" The swindler goes in, and is once again surprised to see tons of beautiful girls whipping themselves. He asks St. Peter, "Why are they doing that?" St. Peter answers, "Ah, those are all of our virgins. They just found out we don't keep records, too!"

renethuh

Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have sex, too.

juliettaylor

Q: What does Mortal Kombat and a church in Helsinki have in common?
A: Finnish Hymn!

Anonymous

Two old timers were talking after church one day and the one asks the other, "So tell me brother, what did you think of the soul food this morning?" The other replies, "The food was excellent but the service sucked!"

NOAHLOT2

Q: Did you hear about the short sighted rabbi?
A: He got the sack.

JKLouw

Q: Who is the most famous comedian in the Bible? A: Samson, because he brought the house down.

TheLaughFa...

Photons have mass? I didn't know that they were Catholic.

Malik Ore

The lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life," but john came fifth and won a toaster.

bobby johnson

Three nuns walk into a bar, the fourth one ducks.

kaleajean

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw the light bulb and the other to screw the altar boy in the corner!

secretajnt...

Q: Why did all the hippies go to church on the first day of Lent? A: They heard it was "Hash Wednesday."

NOAHLOT2