They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
One day Little Johnny asks his Mum, "How come when I come in to your room you and you're on top of Daddy, you say you're making a sandwich, but after a while I come in again, you're eating a sausage?!"
A professor was giving a lecture on involuntary muscular contractions to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, he decided to lighten the mood. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, "Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?" She replied, "He's probably playing golf with his friends."
Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.
What do a pizza boy and a gyneocologist have in common? They both smell it but they can't eat it.