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joke bank - Sex Jokes

"I admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."

Phyllis Di...

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

beak

Q: What do you call two nuts on the wall?
A: Walnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on the chest? A: Chestnuts.
Q: What do you call two nuts on your chin?
A: A Blowjob.

Mark My Words

Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity. He got it back.

Anonymous

After being married for twenty years to his lover, a gay man dies. When the funeral arrangements have been set, the widower approaches the undertaker with a peculiar request, "I know we had plans to cremate his body, but will you please chop him up and put him in a extra spicy curry instead?" The undertaker asks, "Why would you want that?" The gay widower replies, "So he will blow my ass out one more time."

every one

So, you've all probably seen these commercials for the erectile dysfunction drugs. They say a possible side effect could be an erection lasting for four hours, and if that happens, call your doctor. I say, "Hey buddy, if that happens, don't call your doctor, call me!"

roguegirl

I'm so hot, when I took of my clothes in the bathroom, the shower got turned on.

Anonymous

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

Mark My Words

Hey girl, were you born on a chicken farm? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

Tim

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy and asked him, "Can I touch it?" He replied, "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Monty & Sam

Q: What’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?
A: I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

TheLaughFa...

A woman decides to get a porno, so she goes to the store and picks one with a fairly dirty title. When she plays the movie, the screen gets fuzzy and nothing is going on. When she calls the store about the movie, they ask her what the title was, and she says, "Head Cleaner."

benstone532