CHRIS D'ELIA IS BACK ON THE LUCK OF THE IRISH SHOW ON FEB. 23RD! LAUGH ALL NIGHT WITH SOCAL'S BEST COMICS ON ALL-STAR COMEDY EVERY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD! YOU NEVER KNOW WHO COULD DROP BY ON THE SET DANE COOK IS BACK THIS TUESDAY (FEB 20) AND SATURDAY (FEB 24) TO MAKE YOU LAUGH ALL NIGHT! DON'T MISS THIS SO GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!

joke bank - Sex Jokes

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.

jroach162

What did the battery say to the gynecologist? It's not the smell that bothers me, it's the discharge!

xoplague

Q: What do you call a vicar with a boner?
A: An erector.

Anonymous

Q: Did you hear about the guy with French asthma?
A: He could only catch his breath in snatches.

Suicyco247

After every sentence i say you say ketchup and rubber buns.

what did you eat for breakfast? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what did you eat for lunch? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what did you eat for dinner? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what do you do when you see a hot girl? "ketchup & rubber buns."

YOU WHERE RUBBING MY GF'S WHAT?!?!

lookatmeno...

Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts go up
Pants go down
Body to body Skin to skin
When its stiff
Stick it in
The Longer its in
The Stronger it gets
It goes in dry And comes out wet
It comes out dripping And starts to sag
Its not what you think......
Its a Teabag

Anonymous

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

Anonymous

mom said joe can i have a shower with you tonight? yes honey but don't look up!
when they got in the shower joe looked up and asked what is that mum? mom said
it is Tokyo!the next day the same thing happened but this time he asked his dad
when they took a shower he looked up and asked what is that? it is a huge dinosaur! that night he asked both his parents can i sleep with you tonight? sure they said so they all hopped in bed and joe looked under the covers and said OH NO THE DINOSAUR IS ATTACKING TOKYO!

libby

While on a date a women goes to the bathroom

Man: Uh... wrong way that's the men's room

Woman: Oh my GOD! this is so embarrassing!

Man: It's not a big deal.

Woman: I guess not, but you know what they say, old habits die hard.

Man: ...............

Anonymous

There were three women passing a forest and as they were walking, they saw a bare man stood behind a Bush. He was stood still and when they went up to up to the man, he quietly spoke. He said ' I am a vending machine' . With this, the first woman pulled his d*** and his handkerchief came off and the woman wore it. The second woman pulled his d*** and his glasses came off and she put them on. The third woman pulled his d*** and out came a white liquid all over her hands...she shouted ' Yay, shampoo!'

sian b

Jack at the grocery store ask the lady to show him wear the cookies are. the lady takes him to the bathroom and takes off her shirt and bra, and show her boobs. Jack said why you did you show me that, I wanted a bag of cookies I didn't mean those cookie. Then and the lady said then why didn't you say that you wanted the first cookie meaning not the second cookie meaning. Then Jack said why did you think I wanted to see your boobs in a grocery store.

funny

A man hires a hooker and they go back to his house. The man says I have never had a 69 before. The hooker says okay lets try that. they get into position and she farts. the hooker says o i'm sorry, i don't know whats gotten into me. she goes into the bathroom to freshen up. she comes out and gets into position and again she farts. she says sorry i don/t know whats gotten into me.let me go freshen up . she gets into position again and she farts she says sorry let me go freshen up. The man says don't worry i don't want 67 more of those

blumarker