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joke bank - Sex Jokes

What did the battery say to the gynecologist? It's not the smell that bothers me, it's the discharge!

xoplague

Pornography is what's going to save the 3D television market. The only thing we'll have to watch out for is the money shot. "Ahh did it get in my hair?"

atahmasian

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.

jroach162

Q: What do you call a vicar with a boner?
A: An erector.

Anonymous

Q: Did you hear about the guy with French asthma?
A: He could only catch his breath in snatches.

Suicyco247

Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts go up
Pants go down
Body to body Skin to skin
When its stiff
Stick it in
The Longer its in
The Stronger it gets
It goes in dry And comes out wet
It comes out dripping And starts to sag
Its not what you think......
Its a Teabag

Anonymous

After every sentence i say you say ketchup and rubber buns.

what did you eat for breakfast? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what did you eat for lunch? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what did you eat for dinner? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what do you do when you see a hot girl? "ketchup & rubber buns."

YOU WHERE RUBBING MY GF'S WHAT?!?!

lookatmeno...

While on a date a women goes to the bathroom

Man: Uh... wrong way that's the men's room

Woman: Oh my GOD! this is so embarrassing!

Man: It's not a big deal.

Woman: I guess not, but you know what they say, old habits die hard.

Man: ...............

Anonymous

mom said joe can i have a shower with you tonight? yes honey but don't look up!
when they got in the shower joe looked up and asked what is that mum? mom said
it is Tokyo!the next day the same thing happened but this time he asked his dad
when they took a shower he looked up and asked what is that? it is a huge dinosaur! that night he asked both his parents can i sleep with you tonight? sure they said so they all hopped in bed and joe looked under the covers and said OH NO THE DINOSAUR IS ATTACKING TOKYO!

libby

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

Anonymous

a couple was creating new password and the girl said myboobsandhispenis and it replied sorry not long enough

Anonymous

bob was scared of going in the shower alone so he asked his dad to go in the shower with him his dad said "yes but dont look down" when bob and his dad were in the shower bob looked down and said"whats that" his dad said "its just a snake" the next day bob asked his mum to go in the shower with him his mum said "yes but dont look up or down" in the shower bob looked up and said "what are they" his mum said "theyre headlights" so bob looked down and said "whats that" his mum said "its a bush" that night bob had a nightmare so he asked his parents if he could sleep in their bed they said "yes but dont look down" bob climbed into bed and looked down and said "mum turn the headlights on theres a snake going into a bush"

Anonymous