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joke bank - Sex Jokes

So I'm walking around with a kidney stone in me the size of Utah. I'm trying to live my everyday life. But let's be honest, sex with a kidney stone is less than satisfying. I had an orgasm and it felt like I was giving birth to a switchblade!

olbrneyes

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.

jroach162

Pornography is what's going to save the 3D television market. The only thing we'll have to watch out for is the money shot. "Ahh did it get in my hair?"

atahmasian

What did the battery say to the gynecologist? It's not the smell that bothers me, it's the discharge!

xoplague

Q: What do you call a vicar with a boner?
A: An erector.

Anonymous

Q: Did you hear about the guy with French asthma?
A: He could only catch his breath in snatches.

Suicyco247

After every sentence i say you say ketchup and rubber buns.

what did you eat for breakfast? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what did you eat for lunch? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what did you eat for dinner? "ketchup & rubber buns."

what do you do when you see a hot girl? "ketchup & rubber buns."

YOU WHERE RUBBING MY GF'S WHAT?!?!

lookatmeno...

While on a date a women goes to the bathroom

Man: Uh... wrong way that's the men's room

Woman: Oh my GOD! this is so embarrassing!

Man: It's not a big deal.

Woman: I guess not, but you know what they say, old habits die hard.

Man: ...............

Anonymous

mom said joe can i have a shower with you tonight? yes honey but don't look up!
when they got in the shower joe looked up and asked what is that mum? mom said
it is Tokyo!the next day the same thing happened but this time he asked his dad
when they took a shower he looked up and asked what is that? it is a huge dinosaur! that night he asked both his parents can i sleep with you tonight? sure they said so they all hopped in bed and joe looked under the covers and said OH NO THE DINOSAUR IS ATTACKING TOKYO!

libby

My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him.

At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

StanBKK

a couple was creating new password and the girl said myboobsandhispenis and it replied sorry not long enough

Anonymous

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ''I think you have the wrong room.''
''You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

Anonymous