What is a man's ultimate shame? When he runs into a wall with a hard-on and grabs his nose first!
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I don't know, it has never happened.
A boy asked his dad, "What's the difference between a woman and a slave?" His father replies, "I don't know, what?" His son says, "No, I was asking a question."
Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? Same time next month?