Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."
What is the mating call of a blond? I'm so drunk. What is the mating call of a brunette? Is that blonde gone yet? What is ther mating call of a redhead? NEXT!
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? Same time next month?
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
I have received hundreds of replies to my ad for a husband. They all say the same thing - "Take mine."