Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
Two drunks are sitting in a bar when one of them turns to the other one and asks, "Hey, isn't that Hortense?" The other drunk chimes in and says, "No, she looks pretty relaxed to me."
A boy asked his dad, "What's the difference between a woman and a slave?" His father replies, "I don't know, what?" His son says, "No, I was asking a question."
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.