What do you call a marathon if all the runners are transvestites? A drag race.
A father and son are out shopping for Christmas presents for their family. The son asks, "What present are my sister and I going to get?" The dad answers, "I got you guys an iPad and iPod." "Wow, thanks," the son replies, "What will you give mom?" The dad says, "Your mom is getting an iRon."
After I have sex, I like my woman like my mailbox. Outside my house!
Q: What do you call a bunch of women dancing on the bar?
A: The Periodic Table.
Q: Why did God give women legs?
A: To walk from the kitchen to the bedroom.